The Manfred Mann song came to mind as I went down past the Lanyon Building one day last week at lunchtime on an errand. The hundreds of graduands, and wives and girlfriends thereof, stalking across the lawns and pavements in their 10 centimetre heels (I’m a bit of SI unit man myself) in their multicoloured best – while the men marched around awkwardly in the suits they hope will impress at those first interviews.

BY THE AULD WAN

It was such a contrast to my own graduation day when those who wished to attend were issued with a dress code -  dark suits and collar and tie for men, white blouses and black skirts for the ladies. Non-conformists would not be admitted. I bent the code as far as I dared without knocking a hole in the family’s day out and wore a lilac shirt under a mid-grey bird’s eye check three piece. Seemed trendy at the time – now just looks naff in the few photos that were taken with my camera. I didn’t bother with the studio rip-off version.

Another change today is the absence of ‘the national anthem’ at the start – for good reasons I believe, not least because it begs the question of ‘Which nation?’ In my case it saved my bacon as I overslept and was running down the Malone Road throwing on my gown at 10.57. A tolerant member of the admin staff whom I knew let me slip quickly into my seat while everyone was on their feet for what must be the worst musical dirge of any civilised country. (Think Marseillaise and Nkosi Sikelele Africa for contrast).

On Thursday of graduation week – the last day for which I have figures – 938 people were conferred with their degrees and other awards; 47 of them didn’t come. For reasons that I can’t fathom three quarters of the absentees were nursing and midwifery graduands and nobody from St Mary’s University College missed out.

About a third of my graduation class didn’t bother – the aforesaid dress code being too much for the hippie generation to which I belong. Much has been made recently in the pages (screens?) of The Gown about the proposed graduation charge of £55 and the impact that it will have on attendance. I’m betting it will pale into near invisibility against the cost of the Jimmy Choos and the Coast dresses – and the men will just do what they are told, as always.

Come on you flamingos!

BY THE HOOD

Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll are simply everywhere on campus. The dark underbelly of QUB and QUBSU life remains unseen to most but thankfully I have my spies and touts. I’m currently residing in the Snack Bar on the 2nd floor before it gets turned into a state of the art events venue that nobody will go to because they’ll all be in the Bot listening to a the 5ive mega mix instead. And if the Union puppeteers (watch those strings don’t choke McGrizzle) don’t get a new Ents Manager sharpish then they won’t have any bands to put in the new venue. What a shambles it all is.

If QUB is the entrepreneurial university of the year then I suggest they send over some lads (…too sexist to say twice?) to sort the Union. Although, they might be running low on entrepreneurial students because they went and dumped that MA which probably won them the entrepreneurial award in the first place. I want to know why the MA was scrapped. Well, apart from the fact that having an MA based on entrepreneurship is quite the contradiction in itself. But then that’s QUB all over isn’t it? A couple of years ago Peter Gregson was quoted in the Irish News saying that he wanted to do all he could to help students. But, then he goes and wastes money on Gentleman’s Club fees (this isn’t mentioned enough), he fails to take a pay cut despite the VC of University of Ulster taking one, and he’s happy to stand by and allow the fees cap to be raised/removed. Queen’s – Probably the only center of education in the world where the student VP Education will ask for help in spelling ‘enrol’.

The Washington Ireland Program (WIP)  is an organisation designed to give students a rich insight into America’s professional and social culture through a two-month internship and an intensive training course in leadership and service. The programme aims to select promising individuals, from Ireland and Northern Ireland, who will ultimately use their unique talents to contribute back to their home communities.

Megan Farrell, WIP Executive Director, says, “This year’s class exemplifies the quality of university students in Northern Ireland and Ireland. All are extremely accomplished and bring a strong sense of service to the program. We are thrilled to welcome them to the WIP program and look forward to their time here in Washington.”

The class was chosen from more than 270 applicants throughout Northern Ireland, Ireland and the UK. “All of the students will emerge from the WIP program with both common and unique experiences that together create a true understanding of real leadership and service,” says Farrell.

WIP, which celebrated its fifteenth anniversary in 2009, awards each student a prestigious internship and promises an exciting summer for all involved. The internships include placements on Capitol Hill, government agencies and the private sector.

“While Washington DC is known for politics, the city is quite diverse and offers an outstanding opportunity for students with interests outside the political area. We are pleased to have internship placements this summer with cultural institutions, research centres, large companies and entrepreneurial businesses, ” explains Farrell.

Looking ahead to this summer, all members of the team are excited about the prospects that lie ahead, as Queen’s University student Peter Coulter explains: “On behalf of the three students that will be representing Queen’s in Washington this summer, we are delighted to have this opportunity. We thank Queen’s for continuing to support the Washington Ireland Program and will aim to uphold the university’s strong image abroad.”

If you would like to track the progress of this year’s team from QUB, you can read their personal blogs and view photos at the programme’s website: www.wiprogram.org<http://www.wiprogram.org/>.

Any Gown reader who is interested in applying for an internship with the Washington Ireland Program should visit www.wiprogram.org<http://www.wiprogram.org/> for more information on the application process.

Be careful, everyone, the travel bug is in the air. Once you get the giddy head, the procrastinating spirit and the shaky legs, you’re done for. The only cure is to buy a cheap ticket to somewhere and go.

I caught it right before Easter break, but luckily, I had bought tickets a month before on ryanair.com to Porto in Portugal and Marseilles in France for the first week and a half of vacation. Make sure you get lots of sleep, go on a boat tour and get soaked by a freezing cold ocean. I suggest some alcohol, too, of course… maybe a blue coricacão drink with 7up, or a Malibu shot. As odd as it sounds, I also suggest you drop your phone in a wet bathroom and that you make sure your purse or pocket contents get caught up in the ocean and get carefully damaged. It helps you get out of control and your frustration soon becomes laugher because there is nothing you can do.

Even after three nights in Porto, I was no better. In fact, I was only feeling worse… the fizzy headache and jittery skin was just becoming more troublesome. So off I went, almost missing my flight, which gave me a great adrenaline rush (it’s great for curing the travel bug) to Marseilles. I arrived with my friend, got totally tricked into paying sixty euro for a cab ride (also helps, it increases the anger and feeling of stupidity as a tourist) and then settled in for some days at the beach with lots of sun and crusty, yet soft, French bread… and of course, meringues.

I had never travelled around Europe like this before. The only other times I had been in Europe I had either been in one country for a week or so with my parents, or I had been in France for two weeks with my French class in high school for a mini study abroad experience. On this trip, I realized just how lightly I can pack and get away with it (you really don’t need a hairdryer or multiple pairs of jeans for eight days), how food tastes best when it’s really cheap (especially a two euro bacon burger in Porto) and how fun cramped hostel rooms are when you’re with friends (it’s like summer camp all over again with bunk beds).

As is the case with every vacation, when it’s over, you have a fresher mind for going back to the grinding every day… except, luckily for me that just meant a two day break in Belfast before heading back to New York for a visit home to get over some homesickness. However, considering this is supposed to be my time of adventure, the gods didn’t let me down here, either.

A few days before I was supposed to fly back to Belfast in time for classes to start again on Monday, April 19^th, a volcano in Iceland erupted…

BY MATTHEW OKOT

Brown was there from day one in 1997, spending a decade as Chancellor of the Exchequer. He was consumed by jealousy of his younger colleague, Tony Blair, who got to 10 Downing Street first. Their fractious relationship hampered Labour’s ability to govern effectively. When Brown finally got Blair’s job, it was a poisoned chalice. It was possible to feel sympathy for Brown but he authored his own misfortune.

It is true that Blair got out in time, yet if Brown got the top job too late, this was his own fault for not deposing Blair when his rival became a liability after the Iraq war. Brown dithered constantly, to the exasperation of his own supporters. He was willing to wound Blair but afraid to strike. It was this dithering that undid his premiership. Brown made a deceptively good start and he stoked up election fever in the autumn of 2007. Yet a sudden Tory poll surge scared him. He scrapped the election after seeing the opinion polls. Brown denied that the polls had influenced his decision – nobody believed him. He had ‘bottled it’. His authority collapsed. Labour MPs became rebellious. The government started its drift to defeat. Brown had snookered himself.

Opponents who felt that he lacked the character to lead were vindicated. As the global recession started to bite, Brown felt his hour had come. The economy was his speciality. Brown led a commendable rescue of the banking system but the recession threw an unfavourable light on his Chancellorship. Despite boasting repetitiously about his own economic skills, Brown had left Britain inadequately prepared to cope with a recession. The economic castle had been built on the sands of debt and borrowing.

Late in the day, Brown re-discovered state intervention; an admission that his policies as Chancellor were wrong. The self-styled economic genius leaves a grisly economic legacy for the next government. Often Brown talked about his ‘moral compass’ but he presided over the 10p tax debacle, which hurt the lowest paid, whilst the fiasco over accommodation for the Ghurkhas revealed a leader out of touch.

The war in Afghanistan was the centrepiece of the war on terror, yet New Labour skimped on defence spending. For a man who lived and breathed politics, Brown was extremely bad at it. Many of Brown’s defenders pointed out that the media were focussing on his dour image rather than his policies. Yet many of his policies were simply wrong. There is no doubt that Brown possesses intelligence and conviction but he simply lacked the courage of his convictions. Gordon Brown was up to the job of prime minister, if only he had never had it.

BY GOWN REPORTER

It was shortly after 12.30.a.m when the first Northern Ireland seat was declared, with Sinn Féin’s Pat Doherty returned to West Tyrone, boasting an increased majority since his 2005 victory. Another first was the announcement that the DUP’s Ian Paisley Junior, alternatively Ian Óg, had recorded a comfortable win over TUV leader Jim Allistair in North Antrim. Junior finally put to bed previous promise of a serious Traditional Unionist challenge and rounded off a triumphant victory with a quality karaoke session. The Lagan Valley constituency produced no such surprise with the return of the DUP’s Daniel O’ Donnell look-a-like Jeffery Donaldson, comfortably seeing off the challenge of UNCUNF’s Daphne Trimble, wife of former First Minister, Lord David Trimble. UCUNF’s Freddie Mercury impersonator ‘Flash’ Harry Hamilton had no such luck, however, in his bid to unseat Democratic Unionist David Simpson in Upper Bann.

Weeks of speculation has passed and it is still unknown whether North Down’s incumbent MP, Lady Slyvia Hermon cut her ties with the Ulster Unionists due to the principle of the Conservative link up or the insulting UCUNF acronym. Running as an independent, victory for Hermon was never in doubt. Commiserations to the UUP’s Ian Parsley on a second consecutive electoral defeat, his first with the Ulster Unionists. Belfast West witnessed another landslide for Sinn Féin. A modest man of the Bible, in a shirt and blue jeans Gerry Adams was a picture of comfort in the constituency where he boasts one of the biggest majorities in the House of Commons. Deputy First Minister Martin Mc Guinness likewise had no problem retaining his Mid Ulster seat in a rather confusing 6.7% constituency swing from DUP to Sinn Féin. Newry and Armagh returned local Sinn Féin Regional Development Minister Conor Murphy, pledging his party will carry on not turning up at Westminster but holding onto the taxpayer’s money.

In Belfast South, Foyle and South Down, the Social Democratic and Labour Party hoped to hold on to the three seats they had whilst contesting constituencies for the craic. East Antrim returned the DUP’s Sammy Wilson, as did Gregory Campbell hold East Londonderry (only sometimes known to Jim Allistair as ‘Derry’) as expected. Meanwhile their Strangford DUP counterpart Jim Shannon easily saw off the challenge of ladies’ favourite Mike Nesbitt of UCUNF to take the seat previously held by young men’s favourite Iris Robinson.

In the run up to the general election all eyes were on South Antrim where Ulster Unionist leader Sir Reg “never-to-be MP” hoped he could gain the holy grail of a single Westminster seat. This was a close contest but even tactical voting by some nationalists was not enough to put Willie McCrea’s seat in Tory hands. Reg later claimed, “I’m not stupid”, an insight not shared with potential leadership candidate David McNarry. Sir Reg Empy was not alone in his dejection as Peter Robinson, after 31 years, lost his massive majority along with his East Belfast constituency seat to the Alliance Party’s Naomi Long. Both seats will no doubt have repercussions for the leaders, possibly an end to single jobbing for both figures.

The Fermanagh/South Tyrone constituency always looks forward to elections, and on occasions multiple recounts. Sinn Féin’s Michelle Gildernew came up against unionist independent candidate Rodney Connor here. SDLP’s Fearghal McKinney, formerly known as Fergal, was happy to win back his £500 deposit after polling enough votes. After rumours and recounts, Mrs Gildernew was announced victorious by a majority of four seats, boasting the smallest majority of the House of Commons.

The green and orange map of Northern Ireland remained almost the same on 8^th May 2010. An addition to the mix is the first Westminster seat ever to be held by the Alliance Party. The anti-Good Friday Agreement TUV had no such luck. The race for Assembly seats has begun, with unionists plotting pacts, nationalists picking fights while Norn Iron neutrals have their ears to the ground.



Following the Ulster Museum’s £17.2 million refurbishment, it has been nominated for the prestigious Art Fund Prize. This could be worth £100,000 to the museum as well as being a “huge accomplishment”. The public are being urged to vote for the museum to win on the Art Fund website. The Ulster Museum is currently in first place with 25.5% of the popular vote, but is closely followed by Blists Hill Victorian Town, near Birmingham on 21.9%. It is also up against institutions such as the Natural History Museum, London, and the Great North Museum, Newcastle.

BY BEN FINCH

Judges have been visiting museums on the longlist and will soon be making the decision for the shortlist, taking into account the public vote. Crimewatch presenter Kirsty Young is a member of the panel. Unable to visit with the other members of the judging panel, she visited the Ulster Museum on April 14. These visits are said to have gone very well, and the judges were “suitably impressed”. Gillian McLean, from the Ulster Museum, has said that they need to keep up the momentum in keeping visitors coming to hold on to first place.

Jim McGreevy of National Museums NI said, “The Art Fund Prize of £100,000 is a most prestigious accolade and to win it would be a huge accomplishment for the Ulster Museum and indeed, for Northern Ireland.”

Previous winners of the Art Fund prize include the Wedgewood Museum and The Lightbox Museum and Gallery.

The refurbished museum contains new exhibitions on Irish and natural history as well as a poignant and balanced look at The Troubles. There is also an excellent series of art and fashion galleries on the upper levels.

To vote for the Ulster Museum in the Art Fund Prize visit www.artfundprize.org.uk/2010/vote. Voting closes on 7 May with the shortlist being announced at the end of May.

On Wednesday 21^st of April, the QUB Orange Society undertook what is hoped to be the first of many signature cultural and historic annual excursions.  The Dan Winters Project 2010, sponsored by the Queen’s Annual Fund, saw Orange Society members join with friends and guests to visit Dan Winters’ cottage near Loughgall.  Dan Winters’ cottage is prominent in Orange folklore as being credited as the birthplace of the Orange Order, which has since grown into the world-wide fraternal organisation representing the Reformed Christian faith.

BY JAMES MILLS

Arriving at Dan Winters’ cottage, students were greeted by Mrs Hilda Winters, ancestor of the famous Dan Winters, who gave a quick tour of the cottage, followed by a history of the Winters Family.  After this, guest speaker Nigel Lutton, a historian, gave a detailed account of the Orange Institution from its origins in 1795 through to the present day, and how it has grown into an international organisation, with lodges in Africa, Australia and the USA. The institution was born at Dan Winters’ cottage after the Battle of the Diamond in 1795 with the order being formally created in Sloan’s inn in Loughgall soon afterwards.  Lutton also gave an interesting talk on the Plantation of Ireland, the 1641 Rebellion, Glorious Revolution 1688, 1798 United Irishmen’s Rebellion right through to the 1912 Home Rule Crisis and a modern history of the Portadown/Loughall area.  A brief question and answer session followed and a certificate commemorating the visit of the society was presented to Mrs Hilda Winters by society Chairman James Mills.  A certificate was also presented by the Winters Family to the Chairman of the society, to be displayed in the Students’ Union building.

The Orange society at the Queen’s University of Belfast was established as a meeting point for all students regardless of community background to learn more about the Orange tradition.  Holding regular meetings in the Students’ Union, the society strives to engage members and guests alike in debates regarding the history, culture, philosophy and theological outlook of Orangeism. It also assesses the role of the Orange Institution in today’s world.  Having a broad membership recruited from within the student body, the Orange Society enjoys engagement with other organisations across the Queen’s campus.

Keen to expound and explain the Orange point of view and history, the Orange Society issued an open invitation to all Students’ representative Councillors and Sabbatical Union Officers to attend the Dan Winters Project.  Many accepted, and the society was very pleased to have Nathan Anderson, newly elected Vice-President for Education join the historical tour.  The Queen’s Annual fund sponsored trip gave many members and guests of the Orange Society a first opportunity to visit this recognised heritage site, and hear about a turbulent but formative time in British and Irish history.

Anyone interested in learning more about the Orange Tradition or the activities of the Orange Society at the Queen’s University should contact quborangesociety@hotmail.co.uk or visit the website at http://orange.society.qub.ac.uk/

BY BEN FINCH

These plans for 1,600 extra houses in Ramat Shlomo, East Jerusalem, have completely disrupted the revival of peace talks between Israel and Palestine fostered by Barack Obama, as President Mahmoud Abbas of Palestine will not enter talks whilst settlement building continues. Palestinians have long been complaining about their inability to gain planning permission to build in this area while Israeli buildings continue to pop up unhindered as if it were SimCity.

Joe Biden, the vice-president of the US, was in Israel when the announcement was made, and quickly issued a strong statement. “The substance and timing of the announcement, particularly with the launching of proximity talks, is precisely the kind of step that undermines the trust we need right now,” he said. Biden was in Israel to cajole the two sides into direct talks following negotiations with George Mitchell, who played a crucial role in the Good Friday Agreement.

This has blown into a crisis over the past couple of weeks. Two Israeli soldiers and two Palestinian militants were killed on the Gaza border in an exchange of fire. Both sides have different stories. Israel states that they found the militants “planting explosives along the security fence in the southern Gaza Strip”. Hamas say that they ambushed the soldiers.
Israeli tanks briefly entered Gaza following this, and there were reports of firing from the Israeli Navy, artillery and helicopter gunships leaving five Palestinians injured and ambulances unable to attend because of the gunfire. While this is nothing like the Israeli invasion of Gaza in January 2008 and the war crimes committed by both sides, it is a significant, and worrying, increase in violence.

While damning Israeli settlements, Ban Ki-moon stated that he would like to see a Palestinian state set up within the next two years. This is surely unlikely as Israel do not appear to even compromise on any grounds. Gaza has been blockaded since 2007, with only essential medical supplies getting through. All Palestinian trade in Gaza is carried out through tunnels, including the smuggling of rockets, which the blockade is ostensibly to stop.

The ceasefire between Israel and Hamas following “Operation Cast Lead” in 2008 has now been over for more than a year. Rockets continue to be fired from Gaza, and Israel continues to retaliate (or Israel continues to attack and Gaza continues to retaliate).

Following his recent domestic triumph with healthcare, and foreign, more bilateral nuclear disarmament with Russia, it would seem that Obama needs to bring some of his “Yes we can” to the Middle East, although Netenyahu’s talks with him last week appear to have come to nothing.

Barack Obama has finally triumphed as he has signed his landmark healthcare bill into law in a ceremony at the White House. Obama has been scrutinised since his inauguration, and the American public has been wondering when all the change that Obama proclaimed will come about for definite. However it appears he has won the battle, as this new law is aimed at insuring the millions of Americans who currently have no health insurance, and is one of the policies that Obama was determined to implement.

BY CLAIRE WILLIAMSON

Obama was joined by supporters of the health reform including Democrats from both Houses of Congress. However, like everything in politics there are always those who don’t want the change, and this is very evident in the divided America.

Obama’s plan looked like it had come to a halt in January, when the Republicans seemed to prevent the bill coming to a final vote in the Senate. However, the Democrats came up with a plan that ended up with Obama signing it into law.

President Obama will now have to try to sell the reforms to the American public before the November mid-term elections.

House of Representatives voted 219-212 late on Sunday to send the 10-year, $938bn bill to Obama. He said, “The bill I’m signing will set in motion reforms that generations of Americans have fought for and marched for and hungered to see.”

However, if we look at the pros and cons of this plan, it helps us understand what effects this will have on the American public.

According to World Correspondents, here are the supposed pros and cons:

The pros:

1. Discrimination of health insurance companies will be eliminated. No more pre-existing conditions clauses in health insurance contracts.

2. Given the fact that millions of Americans will be insured by this new health care bill, the US Government can negotiate among health insurance firms to lower the premiums of their health insurance. This would mean less health insurance costs for a lot of Americans.

3. Tax credit will be given to those Americans who still cannot afford to avail of health insurance to help them to have one.

4. Stiff competition among health insurance firms will possibly result in much lower insurance costs and more quality health insurance products and services.

5. Aside from the elimination of pre-existing conditions stated above, the coverage amount or sum insured will also be waived by health insurers.

The cons:

1. Given the huge amount of expenses pegged at $940 billion in a spread of about 10 years, it might slow down the growth of the heavily burdened US economy.

2. Insurance Availment Mandate. You have no choice but to get a health insurance. Otherwise, you will be subjected to a 2% tax increase which will be used to subsidize the insurance costs of other Americans. Healthy people who take care of themselves will have to pay for the burden of those who smoke, are obese, etc.

3. There will be a tax increase on people with very high income. If you are making more than half a million per annum, you will have about a 1% tax increase.

4. The US Government will have more control in the health insurance industry causing patients’ confidentiality to be more likely compromised since centralized health information will likely be maintained by the government.

5. Chances of bribery may possibly increase as health care equipment, drugs, and services may end up being rationed by the government.

As expected, the American public’s views are divided, with one saying, “The bill signed today is a travesty against the American Nation,” and another saying,“Heath Care Change is needed.”

It is fair to say that President Obama may have won the battle by signing his bill in to law, but judging by the responses of the American public, he still has a lot of convincing to do.

BY THOMAS HAVERTY

 In the midst of the economic collapse of 2008, many Irish banks and building societies found themselves in the position of having lent money and provided mortgages to individuals and corporations that now looked as if they may not be able to keep up their repayments. Many of these debtors were involved in property development, and with the bursting of the property bubble found their portfolios to be worth much less than the value of the loans which they had taken out to finance their development. As a consequence, the chance that the banks would get back the money they had lent became more difficult to assess.

 This left many of the banks in a difficult position. As part of the normal functioning of a commercial bank, it itself can receive loans from larger international financial institutions. However, with huge amounts of the Irish banks’ money tied up in “bad” loans that it was not clear would ever be repaid,  lending to them became a riskier proposition for these institutions, due to the possibility that the banks may find themselves lacking in funds to repay such loans (or indeed may collapse altogether).   The banks therefore found it more difficult to raise money to help them continue in their day-to-day business, and so could no longer afford to provide favourable loans and mortgages to individuals and businesses throughout the country. This was deeply damaging to the economy, and so the Government developed the NAMA plan.

 The objective of  the plan is to relieve the banks of the pressures of these bad loans, and so to free up money which the banks can then lend to individuals and businesses. This is achieved by purchasing the bad loans of  participating banks (currently Bank of Ireland, AIB, Anglo-Irish and a number of building societies) using taxpayers’ money. These bad loans are transferred to the ownership of NAMA, a government  body, which continues to pursue the holders of these loans and mortgages in the hope of having them repaid; the money collected by NAMA in this way is then returned to the state.

 This approach was considered by the government to have a number of advantages in addition to freeing banks to lend. In order to maintain the health of their balance sheets, the banks would have required the bad loans to be repaid promptly in line with the original agreements between the banks and the debtors. As NAMA is backed by the resources of the state, however, it can afford to delay or space-out repayments of the loans if necessary, making it more likely that NAMA will recover a good percentage of the value of the loans. This, combined with the fact that NAMA purchases the loans from the banks for a substantial discount (up to 58% of the value of the loan in the first series of loan purchases), makes it likely in the government’s opinion that NAMA will actually have turned a profit for the taxpayer by the projected date for the wind-up of the scheme in 2020.

 BY CLAIRE WILLIAMSON

This can be a very stressful process, but it really doesn’t have to be, and if you approach it in a systematic manner you will realise that it is a trial and error process. No-one is an expert in this and it is a learning curve for everyone, that is why it is essential to ask the right questions.

The panic begins when you think that there are not enough houses available and you convince yourself you are working against the clock. This is not true. There are always enough houses, but the sooner you get looking the sooner everything will be sorted out and you can relax. Not to mention that fact that the quicker you start the hunt, the more likely you are to get a house you are happy with.

 As there is such a wide range available,  it is important not to settle for the first house you see, have a look around and find out which houses fit your criteria and price range.

Based on my experience of house hunting, here are my top 5 tips to finding a house that is right for you:

1. Make sure everyone is completely certain that they are moving in, and that they are all available to view the houses.
2. Have a list of questions ready to ask the estate agent or landlord who shows you around the house (for example, how the house is heated).
3. Don’t give a deposit or sign anything until you are certain that this is the house you want. Not only whether it suits your price range, but if it fits all your needs.
4. Look out for problem areas such as the smell of damp or poor heating. Find out why the people before are leaving, and if the house has not been inhabited for a while. There may be important reasons for either of these.
5. Finally, enjoy this process, find a fantastic house that you will have fu living in for the years ahead. Don’t forget: once the contract is signed, there is no going back.

BY PATRICK BROWNE

At the time I was appalled that our comfortable first world eyes could be so easily diverted by sensationalism, and wondered how the countries’ news media could not give the story more coverage, surely they had a responsibility to prioritise stories about conflict, suffering and death over Sergeant’s snake hips? Of course, this was a naively held view and we saw quite quickly with the coverage of the interestingly termed “war” in Gaza the ineffectiveness of the media in calling for international justice. The case of the BBC’s refusal to air the subsequent appeal for Palestinians goes to show just how little room there is for humanism in today’s media.

On Sunday, I was reminded once again of the state of chaos in the DRC and the lack of coverage given to the region in general when the Human Rights Watch announced that a massacre of 312 people and the kidnapping of over 200 others had been committed by the LRA in North Kivu. Shockingly, the massacre had taken place between the 14^th and the 17^th of December, and so had taken three and a half months to be brought to the attention of the international community.

The region has been politically volatile since the end of the Rwandan Genocide when Hutu rebels of the FDLR and LRA fled to North Kivu from neighbouring Rwanda. There, the warlords control resources and wage bloody guerrilla warfare in the mountainous region of eastern Congo. Back in late 2008 the fighting had peaked when troops led by Laurent Nkunda took the village of Rutshuru and threatened to take Goma. This episode displaced 200,000 people and came in the middle of an operation lead by the UN and the Congolese government to bring stability to the area after a 15 year conflict that has left 5.4 million people dead.

Nkunda was captured in January 2009 after a joint operation by the Rwandan and Congolese government which optimistically ushered in a new age of cooperation between the two neighbours. Sunday’s discovery of the massacre comes after the UN announced in January that it would be stepping down its presence in the region. Congo has the largest MONUC peacekeeping force in the world of around 20,000 troops. The UN’s declaration of the operation’s successes and partial withdrawal has been met with criticism by many refugees in eastern Congo who cannot return to their homes for fear of rape and murder. Sunday’s news of the massacre at least partially vindicates their protests.

Congo’s notable absence from the eyes of the world is almost understandable when you take into account the length of the conflict. In the context of its own chequered 14 year history and the relentless accounts of rape, murder, corruption and refugees that come out of Africa, it’s easy to see that Congo is unfashionable and un-newsworthy. Out of sight then but not out of mind for the two million displaced Congolese. Next time you find yourself listening to yet another sickeningly self satisfied appeal by one of Hollywood’s darlings for the victims of Haiti, or whichever tragedy is en vogue consider the overlooked plight of the Congolese. The state of Africa may be old news, and I may not be able to cry crocodile tears as convincingly as two time Academy Award winner Sean Penn, but I just think the victims of the Congolese unrest deserve a bit more help.

Congo:

https://mywomenforwomen.org/donation/donate-form.php?wfw=UKFW

http://www.supportunicef.org/site/pp.asp?c=iuI1LdP0G&b=45819

BY JOSHUA GREENWOOD

Jailbreak has never before been attempted at Queen’s, and to the best of R.A.G.’s knowledge it hasn’t been done in Ireland before either. The idea behind Jailbreak is to ‘escape’ from the Student’s Union with absolutely no money, and by hitch-hiking, begging, and busking, to get as far away from the U.K. as possible in just a day and a half. Teams from English universities have set the standard for Queen’s to beat; the record going to Oxford who got a team to Peru last year. There are rumours that the worst performance went to a team who managed a shambolic 4.5 miles…in 36 hours, bearing in mind an adult’s walking speed is 4 m.p.h.!
Plans from the eager travellers so far range from busking at Victoria Square to pay for a flight, to hiding in a lorry. This reporter’s intention is to get to a ferry terminal and beg like no man has begged before for a lift to anywhere. So from the unwitting young men and women involved in this charitable mad affair, remember to be generous and if you see us in the vicinity needing a lift or even some encouragement, do what you can to help. So far over £5000 has been pledged via sponsorship for this event so a real difference will be made to the charities that will benefit from this money. Keep a look out on the streets for the “Jailbreakers”… because its bound to be chaos.

BY CORMAC DAWSON

To my mind, it is along these lines that we justify the existence and the role of Trade Unions and it is for these reasons that we should show solidarity with workers when they do decide to take action against their employers. Once upon a time, the legitimacy of these ideas was taken for granted by workers and politicians everywhere. It seems fairly straightforward that if an employer abuses their power, then the workers can unite and exercise some power of their own.

In these especially difficult times, employment is not something to be flippant about. For those who can find it, it may very well mean the difference between being able to keep a roof over their head and barely scraping a living on state benefits. Whilst the rhetoric of the recession has largely been that we are “living beyond our means” and that we all have to “tighten our belts”, over the last few years we have seen the Government spend unprecedented amounts of money on propping up the broken Banking system and big business and yet we have seen unemployment soar. Instead of spending money to keep people employed, the Labour Government has committed itself to the ideology of those who were once bitter enemies of the Labour Party.

The recently announced budget is very much focused on cuts and one of the issues that’s shaping up to be a key debate in the coming election is the question of who can most creatively carve up the finances of the public sector in order to make savings? The highly respected Institute of Fiscal Studies has notably pointed out that the cuts proposed in Alastair Darling’s budget will actually be more severe than those introduced by none other than Margaret Thatcher. Few will fail to see the irony of a Labour Government making more substantial cuts to the public sector than the Tories under Thatcher.

So it is that we have a Labour Government that on the one hand seeks to push people towards working in the Private Sector, but on the other hand, speaks out against the Unions when they attempt to defend their members from attacks by their employers. It is in times like these that people really need the strength that can be provided by being a part of a Trade Union. In a recession, the key concern for any private company is more than ever, how to continue making a profit. Their concern is not how to keep as many of their staff employed, or how to continue providing them with a decent salary, it is always about making a profit. Consequently, they will try and renege on commitments they have previously made; they will cut redundancy packages and essentially do whatever it takes to preserve their ability to make a profit.

Whether or not such a system is fair at all is for another day. The point that I want to make is that the Trade Unions represent the only opposing force to the will of the economic juggernauts of Industry. We don’t have to like the fact that the BA cabin crew strike is an inconvenience for many, or that the planned Network Rail strike will cause disruption over the Easter holidays, but we do have to remember that we are all potential victims of this recession and that the only power we really have is the power we have when we act together. What British Airways and Network Rail plan to do is all legal, but that does not make it fair.

The decision to strike by both Unite and the RMT was a democratic one. It was not, as some might suggest, a decision motivated by the political ambitions of certain Union leaders or by greed, it was a decision taken because the majority of those involved in both scenarios thought it was the appropriate action. The only real power that workers have is to strike. If it were possible to keep working and get paid and negotiate a reasonable settlement, I have no doubt that most ordinary working people would choose that option, but the fact that they have opted to strike should raise questions about BA and Network Rail rather than about the strikers. The right to strike is as fundamental as the right to vote and I would like to think that despite what the media says and what the politicians say, we should take the side of the workers because like it or not, we are all in the same boat.

BY RUTH MAGENNIS

The event first took place in Sydney in 2007, with 2.2 million homes and businesses participating in Earth Hour. The following year the rest of the world followed Sydney’s lead with the Golden Gate Bridge, the Coliseum, and the Coca-Cola billboard in Times Square all plunged into darkness.

This year the organizers are aiming for the biggest participation yet, hoping for a billion people around the globe to turn off their non-essential lights at 8.30pm on the 27th March. WWF are campaigning for a global climate deal that will be binding and effective, in contrast to the disaster that was Copenhagen. With the existing emissions targets set in the Kyoto Agreement only lasting until 2012, a follow up agreement needs to be reached urgently.

You can show your support by signing up to Earth Hour at http://earthhour.wwf.org.uk. If you also sign up to their Facebook page, there is a chance to win a free night for two at a Radisson Edwardian hotel. There is a list of ideas on the website for things that you can do during Earth Hour – such as have a street party, a candlelit dinner party or…well, I’m sure you can come up with something else you can do in a dark room full of candles with a certain loved one!

Just remember, try and use carbon neutral candles such as beeswax or soy. If you must use paraffin candles, only use one for every light bulb you turn off. Sign up and switch off this Saturday!

This simply will not do. Doesn’t anybody out there understand the immutable relativities of a university – any university? The primary function of students is to remain comatose and apathetic at all times. (Big up to those in the Holy Land who did their level best to conform to these norms on St Paddy’s day). Students are forbidden to read anything but their lecture notes and assignments – or especially those of former and fellow students. In extremis, they are permitted to look occasionally at Hello and FHM – providing it doesn’t become habit forming.

Staff, on the other hand, must de rigeur avoid taking any students seriously. To take under their notice anything that students write or say is a serious departure from the required norms.

Furthermore, The Gown seems to labour under the misapprehension that it is working in the same way as other newspapers. What nonsense is this? Where are the stories of five-legged children being born to Tory MPs in NHS hospitals? Why do we not hear about the Taliban supporters making millions out of the Student Loan Scheme? Is this a conspiracy of silence – or does the editorial team just not have the journalist’s nose for a good story? Or is it just that they don’t know the meaning of anodyne (despite their expensive education paid for by the long-suffering baby boomer taxpayers)?

Has nobody read ‘1984’? Where on earth is the newspeak and doublethink? Unless The Gown abandons this ridiculous adherence to professionalism, I may have to consider my position as the only sage on the block and spend more time with my family.

Next time – if I’m still here – ‘Keeping clichés out of newspapers’.

There are definitely some throughout New York City and New York State, but as someone who actually grew up in New Jersey, the Garden State, I always think of farmers’ markets on the side of the road. I think of hot July days, me sitting in the backseat of my mom’s car on the way back from swimming in the public pool and little shacks saying “Jersey Fresh” and my mom pulling over to buy dinner. This could be sweetcorn, fresh tomatoes, herbs like basil, etc. They usually also had honey sticks (different flavors of honey, including regular, raspberry, chocolate, coca-cola, etc. in plastic tubes) which were my favorite.

After growing up on these kinds of farmers’ markets, I finally made it to Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia, PA (about 45 minutes away from my parents’ house in New Jersey) as a teenager. In the heart of Philadelphia, there’s an indoor market, and  vendors sell different produce from the area as well as jewelry, plants, clothes, etc. There are vendors for foods from all over the world, especially cuisines that are popular in Philadelphia like Pennsylvania-Dutch, Mediterranean and of course, the Philly Cheese Steak.

St. George’s Market seemed like a very similar idea to Reading Terminal Market. In Belfast City Centre, I could see that many people put aside time on Saturdays for buying groceries, gifts and also just spending time there with friends and family. I was happily surprised to find a lot of diversity in food that I haven’t found quite yet in Belfast… Indian spices, Lebanese food, various coffees and teas, etc. The “Wee Jam Pot” stall made me laugh because it’s still a funny word to me as an American, and funnier still that people use it so much here. I also got some delicious marmalade there… marmalade is, unsurprisingly, a lot better here than in the states because Americans made it smoother and sweeter. Not good.

I accidentally sat down at a table for some sort of sewing workshop and realized that there were a lot of people who had come to learn about different designs and new techniques, but also to catch up with friends. While in Philadelphia there is music playing and tables to eat at, like in Belfast, I don’t remember any ‘events’ happening and I thought this was a great idea. What better way to continue being around friends after eating and shopping than to do something relaxing and challenging? I was interested to see the main event was a group of women sewing. I’m not sure what that says about Belfastians, but I could tell that overall everyone was relaxed and having a good time, which follows what I’ve been finding during my stay here.

Graduation is a very daunting prospect for many students, as every year thousands of graduates leave higher education in the UK to join the competitive job market. However, Queen’s University have issued a press release promising to give graduates a boost in today’s challenging job market. This year, 194 QUB students will be awarded a City and Guilds Licentiateship Diploma for skills gained during work placements with a range of employers in both the public and private sectors.

BY KERRI-ANNE CAMPBELL

The scheme demands rigorous standards of assessment. In order to gain the Licentiateship Diploma students must have successfully completed two years of a first degree programme, have completed a year-out on work experience, and demonstrated competence in specified personal skills areas. Students who apply for the diploma must also register as a candidate before their placement begins, and provide a portfolio of evidence detailing their competence in academic, vocational and personal skills, along with a formal presentation.

Leading Academic and Head of Queen’s School of Education, Professor Tony Gallagher says, “City & Guilds enables students to acquire skills such as team working, good communication skills, creativity and leadership which, alongside their academic ability, will help them greatly.”

Queen’s formed the partnership with City and Guilds in October 1994 when it became one of the first universities in the UK to receive delegated authority to administer the Senior Awards scheme in Northern Ireland. The university maintains that City & Guilds Senior Awards offer a progressive employment-based route to higher level qualifications.

The majority of students are aware of how important it is to gain a head start in today’s tough and challenging job market, but exactly how valuable is the licentiateship diploma to Queen’s graduates? According to Gallagher, “The diploma is an investment that has always yielded rich returns for our students and is even more important these days as the economic downturn has made the jobs market more competitive.”

Marc Forte, Senior Awards Officer at QUB, stresses that, “Some research by City & Guilds has indicated that students tend to get a better grade in their degree as a result of their placement year and that a large percentage of these students get a job offer from the same employer after graduation.”

194 students doesn’t seem like a significant number, considering the extensive number of Queen’s students who are set to graduate this year, so is this scheme really combating the difficulties that a large number of graduates face?

Maybe not, but it is a step in the right direction for the successful applicants.

BY DANIEL HENDRY

These debates will be televised and will be an excellent opportunity for the nation to decide which party is the least corrupt, smarmy and general pain in the rear end. There will be three live debates, each 90 minutes in length, which is time that could be spent enjoying a good old football match. Unless you’re a Liverpool fan, then these ‘lively’, ‘gripping’ talks on politics will be a welcome distraction from watching football akin to that of watching paint dry.
Each debate will deal with a number of specific issues, including the economy and foreign affairs. Exciting stuff I know, but what about the true burning issues of the day, such as ‘Is Lady Gaga a man?’ or ‘Has Kerry Katona eaten the population of Iceland?’ These are the real issues that politicians are shying away from, but there is one man who stands above the rest, the man who Britain needs. He is, Lembit Opik who is a Northern Irishman coincidentally, despite his rather extravagant name. Any politician who can pull a ‘Cheeky Girl’ commands my respect and lets not forget about his relations with weather-goddess Sian Lloyd. His credentials are unquestioned, although I know Lembit’s rise to power is as likely as Nick Griffin winning a MOBO.
Audiences at these debates are to be restricted in terms of applause and participation. This is not the way to attract people into politics. Instead, what is needed is a football atmosphere. We need the crowd chanting ‘Gordon, you fat (fill the blank)!’, ‘David Cameron is a banker’ and ‘Clegg, seriously, what are you doing here?’ Or David Dimbleby intervening in an all-out brawl between the men, reminiscent of a scene from Jerry Springer. The three leaders should engage in other events and challenges, including a Fifa Xbox360 competition, rock, paper, scissors contest and even an arm-wrestling challenge. Now, that is something I would watch!
So to conclude, good luck to the three challengers. Who will win? As Harry Hill eloquently puts it, there is only one way to find out… FIGHT!

Collate is an exciting new personal finance management tool developed by 6 students studying Business and IT at Queen’s.  Essentially it will allow those who own a credit or debit card to:

• Manage their finances across many cards
• Monitor their spending patterns in the form of graphs and tables
• Secure real-time management of accounts
• Budget calculating & user alerts

The enterprising students came up with the idea in late September 2009 after realising there was no comprehensive tool which could be relied upon to “collate” all of consumer’s expenses onto one platform.

Our studies have shown that monitoring money through the Collate tool could provide much needed assistance for students living on a budget. A problem which we have all experienced is mystery spending: where is the money we spend which cannot be accounted for? Research commissioned by Visa UK states: On average a UK adult spends £33 in cash every week with no recollection of what that money bought. Collate is anticipated to solve this common problem with its detailed organisation of all a card holder’s accounts in one place.

To subscribe to the Collate online tool, consumers will pay a mere £1 per month. In retrospect, this will be small amount compared to how much of a saving consumers are expected to make from this tool in the long term.

We aim to roll out this service in the next few months to the public. In the meantime we will be vigorously testing and making sure the site is of the highest quality and security to help consumers manage their finances effectively.

If you would like to know more about our service or have any questions you can email us at: collateltd@googlemail.com or call our Sales and Marketing director, Emma Bleakley on 07922884575.

BY MATTHEW ROBB

For instance, let’s say you want to be a rapper but you are born and raised in Portrush. It’s hardly the poverty stricken ghettos of Los Angeles. Yet ‘Pure Fresh’ followed that dream, rapping to a crowd of YouTube users who love Buckfast, hate the sight of rollercoasters all year round, and need someone to champion that cause. On YouTube they have almost 200,000 views total, playing venues such as QUB’s own Mandela Hall.

What if you dream of writing a great novel? Stuart Neville from Northern Ireland posted a short story to his blog, where James Ellroy’s agent happened to stumble upon it. Within a few weeks Neville had been offered a two-book contract by a US publisher. He has now published his first novel ‘The Twelve’ to great critical acclaim worldwide.

Yet success need not by measured by the amount of contracts you are offered. The webseries ‘I Am Fighter’ about a character named Barry ‘the Blender’ Henderson has been sweeping across Facebook and YouTube, gathering over half a million views. Featuring the sort of comedy that would make even Ricky Gervais cringe, you have to see it, just so you don’t look bewildered when it inevitably comes up in a conversation with the local internet junkie.

When you get your big idea, there is no point in this web-laden age of even talking to the big studios and producers. You don’t even need to leave the house. Order all the equipment off eBay, print off the script, and make your masterpiece from the comforting glow of your computer screen. Even if it is complete rubbish it will find an audience on the internet, somehow and somewhere. Fame will be yours, even if your fans are a handful of people scattered throughout the world.

Illustration by Niall Mooney (click to view)

I love New York City. I love walking in a group of hundreds of people, like we’re one great pack of sheep. I love the lights, the ambulances, yes, even the ‘New York Minute’ mentality. So why did I come here to Belfast? I wanted a change of scene. I’m someone who definitely likes being in their comfort zone, but I also think it’s really important to get out sometimes and live a little.

BY CLARISSA LONG

The first thing I noticed upon arriving here at Queen’s about a month ago was the size. In New York, I go to Sarah Lawrence College, which is a small liberal arts college that only has about 1,200 undergraduate students. I believe that here at Queen’s there is something like 22,000 students? While for many of the other American students here that doesn’t seem so big, it’s a whole new world for me.
When I walked into the Students’ Union one of the first days of this semester, heard the DJ playing and saw students wandering around and looking at tables with goodies from all over the world presented by the International Student Society, I thought I might have mistaken the Students’ Union for a shopping mall. At Sarah Lawrence, we’re so small that we don’t even have a student centre. Our equivalent would probably be ‘The Pub’. Unfortunately, since the US hasn’t caught on to the fact that having a drinking age of 21 actually INCREASES dumb drunk behavior (such as car accidents), it is really just a café/sandwich place. Everyone congregates there and it’s in the centre of our tiny campus, which you can cross in about 10 minutes.
I was told before I came here that a lot of Irish students don’t like to appear like they are studying when they actually are and that they don’t like participating in class. Hearing this, not only was I not sure whether or not that was true (can’t believe everything you hear!), it was also really hard for me to imagine. In the US we are taught from a very early age to participate freely in discussion in general (we tend to be pretty vocal people). At my school anyway, we actually like talking in class. I’m not so sure if it’s true or just that the set up is different here. For example, I hear that Irish students, before university, aren’t as encouraged to participate in class like we are in the states. Therefore, it would make sense to me that their speaking in tutorial or lecture wouldn’t be as comfortable. I do have to say, though, I still am not used to so much quiet. Sure, we don’t always participate right away, but after a certain point, the impatience takes over.
Besides academics, I have found that the people of Belfast are generally very friendly, yet stick closely to their friends. While this might make it more difficult for international students to break into social circles, I think it also really helps them because it is as if the community is telling them they need to reach out in order to become part of this city.
For the rest of the semester, I intend to do just that and to relax, sit back and enjoy some Belfast hours, instead of New York minutes. I’m finding it’s not as easy as it looks, to take on a different place and a different way of life. There are some universal similarities and differences, but it’s beyond that. What one really finds when they are living abroad is that you are the one who is the same or different. Belfast may be different from New York, but they’re both cities. I’m the one who will change the most, not the place.

One user says: “Cocaine might be dangerous in the way that your average ‘Daily Mail’ reader thinks, but it’s really not that bad.”

What do you think?

Have you ever been offered cocaine, or any other drug, on the student social scene in Belfast?

BY JASON CONLON

As expected, the A-Level students we spoke to were reading a variety of subjects, including a lot of ‘non-traditional’ subjects. When asked if they felt there were too many ‘Mickey Mouse’ degrees today – an argument put forth by the government and wider media – leading to a surplus of students, some of the people interviewed were surprisingly candid. Sinead Gorman from Dungannon said: “It annoys me a lot when you get the likes of people dropping out after fifth year, bumming around in tech for a bit then announcing ‘I’m heading to University!’ ”  When we put forth to Sinead that everyone is surely entitled to the right of third level education, her friend Aine McSorely diplomatically replied: “Oh yes, we’re not against that. It’s just the way the system allows them to get there in the first place that seems kind of wrong, you know. I mean, if they were to be encouraged to stay on at school and do the hard graft, A-Levels and then be granted a place, it would be like they earned it.”

Gavin Teague from Armagh seemed overwhelmingly enthusiastic about the prospect of Queen’s in September. He was honest enough though, in the reasons for his unbridled joy. “Yeah, I mean I’ve studied hard for the last 7 years of my life and my family will hopefully be proud of me, going to Queen’s and all. But you hear about the craic up in Belfast and the wreckin’ through the Holylands and you just want to go and experience it for yourself.”

Most people were indifferent to any prospect of departmental funding cuts and how it may affect them, even at Queen’s. But Julie-Ann Edwards, a sixth form Methodist College student, expressed concern for the long term. “I’d say that not a lot of people would notice it or think of it to be ‘real’, because it’s just in the papers and not directly affecting anyone. But my brother just graduated recently and only just managed to get himself on a post-graduate course. I’d worry that in a few years only the students with the very, very top grades will get in, leaving lots of us disappointed. Then what do we do?”

Whilst a higher all round academic standard may sound great for society, and potentially weed out Sinead and Aine’s ‘Mickey Mouse slackers’, what the rest of the people left on the scrap heap would do is hard to imagine. But that is all purely hypothetical at this stage of course. Northern Ireland’s general student body seem to have the confidence to handle anything that life will throw at them. The likes of Gerard Rafferty form Downpatrick certainly won’t be phased anyway, because “We’ll plough on ahead up and keep her lit”.

I’ve since moved on to a place where nobody will find me, under the desk in the now-vacant office of the VP Welfare. From Wednesday I shall move to the Gown office and take up comfortable residence there as the Gown Team are suspended by Union management. The Press Complaints Commision is on my back over the supposedly infamous ”rubdown” comments – caught under the Kearney desk might mean a 6 month stretch in Maghaberry. Regardless, it’s not easy casting a sceptical sideways glance in a sub-desk office exile (unless you want me to tell you the craic about Barry Duffy’s lower half), though The Gown team’s clever cup and string contraption gave me a pleasant muffled way into today’s hustings.

I’m not the only one amused at some of Possible Prizzle McGrizzle’s alliances this election-tide, but his constant references to ”having the Continuity behind him?” If he keeps up his “over-committed” approach, he might even garner some Real support. Opponent Dan Critchlow might have cringe-inducingly compared himself to the Dark Knight (brooding, swooping guardian of the fees cap, Baterang-ing Gregson out of his ivory tower of evil?) but Griz is no Joker for sure. Lucky, really. Those making a bid for comedy died on their arses magnificently. Greg McLarnon’s joking heckle of a statement from the absent Grace Lynch? Redpath’s smiling confession to a post-lunch crowd (candidates, lackeys and Gownies, really, not a crowd) that he was going commando? Not half as funny as Fionnuala McKenna pretending to know anything about what a VP Education actually does.

Did anyone else notice Stephen Connolly’s attempts to derail Fiona Kidd’s policies? First he snidely retorts by telling us he wouldn’t endorse any student being on Facebook when they were supposed to be working on an essay. Then in his closing statement he mentions how he noticed the popularity of the “Queen’s Library Situation is a joke” Facebook group, which I know peaked in popularity during exam time. Adam McGibbon needn’t install a flip-flop machine in the Union; it already has one in the marketing department.

The man with the initials W.A.R seemed to be walking the Redpath alone as his diverse support drifted off, with round seven of the hustings seeing the pantsless speaker battling Jay Downs for the community post. Perhaps the Conservative/Unionist running on a GAA ticket with a Red-plastered poster had finally managed to alienate just about everyone. And the slogan, “The future’s bright, the future’s Redpath?” Yikes. I suppose the fact the trademark for that gem rests with Orange counts as a subliminal ploy to win back drifting Unionist support.

I’ve all but made up my mind which candidates will be getting my number ones. Others will be getting my number twos, directly through their letterboxes.

As an aside, assembled Gownies made sure to goad the almost universally detested News Editor Lorcan, noting how comfortable he looked in a seat just vacated by Shane Brogan…

And finally, Hood would like to give a birthday shout out to Chuckle Brother Paul Lilly, who turns 12 today. Partner Barry is almost surely planning a suitably slapstick scheme to mark the occasion.

DANIEL HENDRY delves into the world of celebrity infidelity and deception.

Well, here we go again, another fortnight has passed and yet another celebrity scandal for me to get my teeth into.
The focus of the media at the moment is the break-up between X Factor judge and Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole (26) and Chelsea and England footballer Ashley Cole (29). The couple who married in 2006 had miraculously made it into the new decade despite numerous indiscretions from the bad boy of English football. Well, maybe not THE bad boy, but he can join the illustrious list which includes Wayne ‘grab a granny’ Rooney and Steven ‘I swear it was self-defence’ Gerrard’.
Ashley has allegedly engaged in a number of affairs despite being the husband of one of the most desired women in the world. What is wrong with him? His decision making is that bad he’ll be dating Susan Boyle next. Or he’ll record a duet with John Terry with the Tom Jones classic ‘Sex bomb’. Maybe Ashley will do a mobile phone commercial with Vernon Kay. One of the England star’s affairs is said to have happened when he brought a woman back to his hotel room on a Chelsea tour of the US. Even the most innocent amongst us know that he was hardly playing tiddlywinks with her. Also, naked pictures of the Chelsea player were sent from his phone to another woman. His excuse was that a friend gave a phone to another friend, who then sent the picture. Oh that old chestnut Ashley, not the most convincing excuse and I have heard some crackers.
Cheryl has seen the light and dumped the England star, so she is on the market now which has brought hope to men across the world. Who will be Cheryl’s next love? Wayne Bridge would be a fine choice, a left-back like Ashley and he will be free this summer. We will have to wait and see on that one, but for now the arrogant Ashley Cole has got what he deserves and it was not time for Cheryl to ‘fight for this love’.

Bark is Britain’s premier pamphlet, dedicated to mirth, merriment and muck. Published irregularly, it really is the ideal tool with which to beat back the twits. Bark has jumped into bed with Queen’s and is delighted to offer a free copy to the first 20 readers of The Gown to follow us on Twitter!

Simply Tweet the phrase ‘The Gown’ to @barkpamphlet and we’ll wing one of the little sods over to you tout de suite.

All the bog standard competition rules apply; editor’s decision is final, that sort of gubbins.

Nicely!

· How long they have been parked

· How much they have spent

· How long until the next tariff milestone kicks in.

The inspiration behind the business idea comes from the sense of frustration we feel upon having regularly had to pay for a full hour of car parking despite returning only minutes past the previous deadline.

To take advantage of the service, the customer will merely have to text a short code found on their parking ticket to PARKTxT and will in return receive a text back detailing their current stay. It provides the opportunity to spend 25p to save up to £3.00 and take away what many consider to be an unfair advantage held by car parks at present.

Upon carrying out extensive market research within Belfast, it was found that on average, 67% of customers for mainstream city-centre car parks were dissatisfied by the tariffs imposed on them. General sentiments were that car parks are taking advantage of location to exploit shoppers and, while this may have been acceptable three years ago, the current economic climate dictates that this must stop as soon as possible.

People everywhere are keener than ever to watch the pennies. With this in mind, PARKTxT hope to be up and running in numerous popular city-centre car parks within the next eight to ten weeks. It is a valuable opportunity for shoppers; students and professionals everywhere to make a daily saving that will make a big difference at the end of the month!

For more information on PARKTxT please direct correspondence to info@parktxt.com, or alternatively to speak with or schedule an interview with a director, call Sean O’Hanlon on 07877804501.

Well what a few weeks it has been in that crazy world that is celebrity. There have been more scandals than in a Boris Johnson trip to Liverpool! The common denominator behind many of the scandals has been that of lewd extra-marital affairs.

First, we had Iris ‘the fox’ Robinson and her career ending relationship with a young fellow little older than myself. On a side note, I can recommend the Lock Keeper’s Inn as it does excellent food and congratulate Captain Kirk on a job well done.
Back in 2009, we had the revelations about the legend of golf that is Tiger Woods. His clean-cut image left shattered after seemingly half of the population of American women having had intimate relations with Tiger. So, it was not just the birdies on the golf course that Tiger was keen on.
And now, we have the Chelsea and ex-captain of England John Terry. Terry had an affair with the ex-girlfriend of his England teammate Wayne Bridge who is a French lingerie model. I wonder where the attraction was there JT. Lets get Terry and Bridge in a boxing ring and let them slug it out. That is what the people want to see, and would make a nice change from watching a dancing show on every channel.
Then we have Vernon Kay to add to the mix. Kay has clearly been using his free 02 messages to the fullest extent possible in his ‘sexts’ to a number of Page 3 models. His missus Tess Daly is not amused with Vern’s antics and I believe she is about to embark on a romance with Bruce Forsythe as revenge.
Iris, Kirk, Tiger, JT and Vernon have not got the decade to the best of moral starts. But I see a ray of light for them, bring back Celebrity Love Island and sparks are bound to fly. Who is going to be next on this illustrious list of sex scandals… Stephen Nolan maybe?

BY HEATHER MCGARRIGLE

After centuries of civil and political unrest and decades of dictatorship, sanctions and violence, Haiti was a country already crippled by poverty and debt. Its poorly-constructed buildings had claimed lives before; in 2008, a school in Port-au-Price collapsed, killing around 500 pupils and teachers.

So when the magnitude 7.0 earthquake rocked Haiti on 12 January, the physical devastation that followed is on a scale which is difficult to comprehend. I could descend into tear-jerking, colour descriptions of the horrors but I don’t need to. We all saw the TV and newspaper coverage; it was yet another terrible ‘Remember where you were when…’ moment.

These images on the news were what inspired Anto to do something positive to help. He logged on to local music forum, Fastfude, and offered the services of his band, Tinpot Operation, for any benefit gigs that were bring be arranged. He soon realised it would be down to him to organise any such event!

Aaron was soon on board. “I contacted CDC Leisure, who own The Limelight, Katy Daly’s and The Spring & Airbrake and asked if they’d be interested in putting on a large event, a bit like the tsunami fundraiser they did five years ago. A couple of hours later, they came back and asked for a meeting. We went down and they said that in principle, they had no problem with it. So we went ahead and started booking bands.”

The speed with which the venue was arranged set the pace for Belfast4Haiti. In less than three weeks, around fifty bands had been booked for the gig on the 31^st January, including The Answer, In Case of Fire, Panama Kings, Mojo Fury, A Plastic Rose and General Fiasco. Aaron commented: “There were a few notable names – And So I Watch You From Afar, LaFaro, Two Door Cinema Club – who were on tour at the time, and if they hadn’t have been out of the country, they would have been on the bill too.”

Aaron and Anto even performed; not content with organising the night, Tin Pot Operation and Aaron’s band, Black Bear Saloon, both played sets in the early evening.

Setting up Facebook and Twitter accounts lent the campaign further momentum, with online ‘clarion calls’ producing logo designers, writers, PR experts and media interest, as well as generally spreading the word. Tickets went on sale on 19^th January and by the 29^th, the online allocation was sold out.

It wasn’t long before others became inspired to do their bit for the cause. The Stiff Kitten planned a ‘fundraver’ to run at the same time as the gig, booking big names in lightning-fast time, such as David Holmes, Phil Kieran and The Japanese Popstars. A 5k run was also organised to take place earlier that day. What was already an impressive ‘mini-festival’ was becoming a citywide event, all under the Belfast4Haiti banner.

“It took for an event to be announced for people to go, ‘Yeah, you know, I was thinking of doing something myself ’ ” said Aaron.

Lisa Millar from Lisburn was the brains behind the Belfast4Haiti 5k run, having participated in similar events for charity before. With a little help from twitter contacts, she sorted out logistical details such as public liability insurance and helped organise an event that drew around 700 runners to Ormeau Park on a cold Sunday morning, including well known personalities such as Dame Mary Peters and Hollyoaks actor Gerard McCarthy.

It kicked off a day to remember. Hundreds showed up to the gigs that day and many more without tickets queued outside for as long as it took to buy one. Anyone leaving early was urged to hand over their ticket to be re-sold, maximising proceeds to the cause. Bar staff, bands, lighting and sound engineers all worked for free, with smiles on their faces, and the night ran like clockwork.

Without getting too slushy about it, whether you were in the Limelight, Katy Daly’s, the Spring & Airbrake or the Stiff Kitten that night, there was a tangible sense of being part of something special. As Aaron put it, “There was no wrangling over egos or paychecks. Everyone was doing it out of the goodness of their own hearts.”

I won’t draw crass comparisons between this event and recent political happenings, but I have to say, it was heartening and inspiring to see the people of my country using their talents, working their backsides off and working together, with the ‘bigger picture’ in mind.

There’s no sign of so-called ‘compassion fatigue’ either; every day, it seems a new Haiti fundraiser is added to the Belfast4Haiti website, with Aaron and Anto only too happy to promote the efforts of those inspired by their gig. At the time of writing, the second of two fundraising nights of music organised by DeadOnMusic is taking place in Auntie Annies; a special arts sale, HeARTS for Haiti takes place on Valentine’s Day in the Black Box and an Xbox 360 ‘Battle of the Bands’ is being held at Auntie Annie’s on the 21^st February.

So far, the total raised altogether on the 31^st January has exceeded £40,000 – twice the original target – and continues to rise. All funds raised are going directly to the DEC (Disasters Emergency Committee), an umbrella organisation for thirteen UK humanitarian aid agencies. When major disasters and emergencies occur throughout the world, the DEC brings together the aid, corporate, public and broadcasting sectors to rally support, and allocates funds to DEC agencies best placed to deliver effective and timely relief to people most in need.

A list of useful websites is below, including the Belfast4Haiti site, which will be updated with any new fundraising events. Their JustGiving page is still active and will remain open for at least three months, so if you can’t make it to any of the events, you can still donate money to help Haiti.

The DEC website is also listed; donations can be made here and you can also check for updates on the relief effort. The DEC will be working in Haiti long after Haiti fades from our news schedules.

WEBSITES:

Belfast4Haiti:

www.belfast4haiti.com
www.justgiving.com/belfast4haiti
www.twitter.com/belfast4haiti

HeARTS for Haiti:
http://tinyurl.com/heARTSni

Xbox 360 Battle of The Bands:
http://tinyurl.com/Xboxni

Disasters Emergency Committee:
www.dec.org.uk

Come join Queen’s Ógra Fianna Fáil, Cumann William Drennan in their annual commeration of William Drennan and the acheivements of the United Irishmen.

The agenda for the day is as following:

10:00 – Meet outside Belfast City Hall and we will then travel together for a commeration at William Drennan’s grave.

12:00 – Visit to the Ulster Museum

14:00 – Luncheon Debate on the motion “William Drennan is the true father of republicanism” (Don’t worry to make things interesting we are debating against the motion!!)

17:00 – Historical Pub Tour of Belfast, in which we will have a few drinks in the old haunts of the United Irishmen. Guide subsidised by William Drennan Cumman, a discretionary contribution from all participants would be welcome, all proceeds will go to the Haiti fund.

19:00 – Paint the town green!!

All are welcome and we have invited TDs and Senators to attend also, Minister Dara Calleary and Senator Cecilia Keaveney have confirmed their attendance thus far. Please do not hesitate to contact any of us regarding the day and we will gladly assist you as best we can.

Look forward to seeing you all there!!!

Please RSVP to us via e-mail also at: qubfiannafail@gmail.com

Other Contact Details:

Chairperson / Cathaoirligh: Mark Mulholland
Ríomhphoist: markmulholland62@btinternet.com Fón póca: 07742593080

Secretary / Rúnaí: Maebh Enright
Ríomhphoist: maebhenright@hotmail.com Fón póca: 07752009652

Vice-chair / Leas Cathaoirligh: Cathal Skelton
Ríomhphoist: cjmaher@aol.com Fón póca: 07519727178

Treasurer / Cisteoir: Dermot Devine
Ríomhphoist: dermydevine@yahoo.com Fón póca: 07916865342

PRO / Oifigeach caidreamh phoiblí: Peter Mc Govern
Ríomhphoist: petemcgovern1@gmail.com Fón póca: 07845648833

BY JASON CONLON

Simple features on the Hero become a joy for the user to behold. HTC claim the carefully angled lower-end of the handset is designed “to make the user actually feel that they are using a phone”. A small manoeuvrable button acts as computer mouse, menu selector and confirmation key all in one. This is a touch screen phone and so, as is the case with many of these third generation phones, texting on the virtual qwerty keypad can take a lot of practice and getting used to (especially if the user is generously endowed in the digit department).

The most appealing characteristics of HTC Hero are undoubtedly the vast internet capabilities that it has to offer. Users can Tweet n’ Peep right from the main screen, and important previously browsed websites set themselves up in a visual index on yet another easy to access menu homepage. It is the efficient organizing, nearly always literally available at the touch of a button, that helps leave the much championed online capabilities of the Blackberry in the shade.

The whole notion of downloading applications to your handset is still a remarkable and exciting idea, though it is nothing new of course. However, this phone provides you with an Adobe PDF file viewer, allowing you to access documents straight from the web or your email account. Users can also set up a Spotify interface on their phone, as well as downloading and watching videos. This last point is where the Hero delivers yet another impressive feature. Back in the 90s it was often the desire of many teenagers to have a mini handheld TV. But these were expensive, unreliable and required a ridiculous amount of battery investment. HTC have provided fantastic mp4 file capabilities with this phone, and access to apps such as BBC i-player, 4od etc allow the phone to shine brightly. You can even download an entire series of ‘The Sopranos’ or ‘Lost’ and store it simply on the generous hard-drive. As I say, it’s often more of a laptop than a phone.

Unfortunately though, all that glistens isn’t gold, and if you don’t live in Belfast City you may well begin to resent your shiny new friend due to the incredible difficulty of getting a signal. In the UK, the HTC Hero is mainly only available on the 3 Mobile network and pay monthly contract. There is not much point in the phone’s 3G capabilities, or indeed in paying £25 a month if you are told: “Walk two streets over and should get reception there” as one customer told me what they were advised by 3 when they complained. The entire time I had the Hero, travelling form the barren backlands of Tyrone to Belfast, I struggled to find any reception other than ‘Roaming’.

The HTC Hero is indeed a beautiful, useful and entertaining piece of technology – It’s just a pity the majority of users won’t be able to use the damn thing.

BY CATHAL MC GUIGAN

On Monday night Queen’s celebrated its sixth annual Burns Night. The tradition marks the birthday of Robert (Rabbie) Burns, Scotland’s national poet and author of the world famous ‘Auld Lang Syne’.  This year’s guest speaker, Professor Leith Davis, of Simon Fraser University, Vancouver spoke about the worldwide appeal of Robert Burns and how he is appropriated by various cultures for various reasons.

Burns Night has been growing in popularity for many years. Last year, Robert Burns was voted ‘Greatest Scot of all time’ by STV. The poet managed to beat strong contenders such as David Hume and William Wallace.

The Scottish National Party (SNP) had hoped to attract some of this popularity to its cause, the fight for Scottish independence. Burns Night 2010 was to be the day that the SNP published their controversial Referendum Bill. Yet, it is now suspected that the bill will not be published until late February.

Some feel it will not be welcomed. The Scottish Labour Party is critical of the move as it feels that Scotland needs to concentrate on economic recovery at the moment.

The SNP wants the referendum to be held on St. Andrew’s Day (30 November) which is another important day in the Scottish cultural calender. Though unlikely to be influential, this could prove to be an important step towards a Scotland which is independent of the UK.

What might the push for Scottish independence mean for Northern Ireland?

In Northern Ireland, the celebration of the poety of Robert Burns is essential to the Ulster-Scots culture and emphasises the link between Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Surely the strongest cultural, ethnic and religious ties that Unionists have are with Scotland, a good example being the dialect of Ulster-Scots.

An independent Scotland would raise many questions for Northern Ireland.

Would the Union be as meaningful for Unionists without Scotland? And what if Wales followed and became an independent state? Could Northern Ireland be part of a smaller union with only England, or perhaps only Scotland? Could this lead to an United Ireland? Or could it possibly survive completely on its own?

At the time of the 2007 Scottish Parliament elections, Mark Devenport considered some of these questions;

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6603033.stm

BY DON MCDERMOTT

The capital, along with so much of the island, was destroyed. Many of the country’s most famous landmarks were severely damaged or wiped out as a result, with the Presidential Palace and National Assembly being two such examples that succumbed to the brute force of the earthquake. This prompted Elizabeth Myers of the UN to describe the event as the biggest disaster the UN has had to deal with. Initial estimates of a death toll of between 45,000 to 50,000 have been revised to 200,000 and a further 3 million are suspected to have been affected in some way by this unbelievable tragedy. Many of the dead are high profile members of the Haiti government and other important figures. The scenes of children crying in the street brings home the scale of horror and pain the earthquake has caused. It is unbearable to watch the pain etched in locals faces as they try to come to terms with the sudden and senseless loss of loved ones and homes. But as heartbreaking as it is to see such needless and unwarranted destruction, it is important that the world does not turn their backs on the people of Haiti when they need them the most. We have seen before how much good can be accomplished when we work together to help those affected by natural disasters, in the case of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami for example. We need to come together once again to stand behind Haiti in a show of solidarity and to let them know the world will not forget. The fact is that although the initial impact of the earthquake has struck, the consequences of such will be felt for some time to come. Haiti, being that it is one of the poorest countries in the world, will be more prone to some of the knock on events of such a catastrophic event. With bodies lying in the street, the threat of disease and hunger is now at its highest level in the country, making it all the more important that clean water is made available, along with the proper medical aid. Fear and desperation can also cause huge problems as people resort to violence and crime to try to save themselves and their families. Other stories coming out of Haiti tell of how in the days after the earthquake first hit, women were walking the streets singing and clapping as a sign of togetherness while others attended church services held outside destroyed churches. When you hear stories like this, it is easy to see how Haiti devised its national motto, ‘L’Union Fair La Force’, which translates as ‘Strength through Unity’. Now it up to us, the rest of the world, and our leaders, to unite behind the cause as well.

BY SUSANNAH MCKENNA

And as always, after leaving my studying to the last minute over previous years, I solemnly vowed to get started early this year so that I wouldn’t be under pressure for my January exams. However, when the Christmas tree is still up, when the Quality Street tins are still half full, and the holiday booze is still in the fridge (which has to be consumed for the only reason that wasting is a sin), revision is the last thing on my mind. And low and behold, it is two days before my first exam and I haven’t opened a book!

They do kind of land everything on you at once though. Although they give you the essay questions in November so you can get your essay wrapped up before Christmas and have plenty of time to dedicate yourself to studying for your exams, I have yet to meet any student who does so. They really should change the deadline for semester one coursework to the week before term ends for Christmas, then they would be doing everyone a huge favour. But as this isn’t the way unfortunately, we always go into the New Year stressing out and really peeved off with the amount of work we have to do. But why do we do it to ourselves?

I try to tell myself that I work best under pressure and that I learn best in an intense cramming session the night before the exam, and I bet I’m not the only one. This however is the recipe for disaster for two reasons. Number one is that when we leave our studying to the last minute and try to fill our brains frantically, it can work. This however is just down to pure and utter luck that the stuff we looked at happens to come up on the exam. And this is, please note, very dangerous because all the “why the hell did I leave this until now, I’m totally screwed” tension from 3am the night before is replaced with total relief after the exam, that can turn into “I’m great, I predicted exactly what would come up. My studying styles mustn’t be too bad. Or maybe I’m just amazingly smart”. This then leads to all our vows to never do the night before thing again, being broken.

This then takes us to reason number two, as to why this method is never secure. When it works for us and we think that we can get away with leaving revision until the last minute, that is when we do the same for our next exam and unfortunately, we aren’t as lucky as before. Our “my studying styles mustn’t be too bad. Or maybe I’m just amazingly smart” has crashed and burned. And, as hard as it is to admit, we only have ourselves to blame. Even though it is a saying I hate to be told, it is a case of “having to learn the hard way”.

However, there is a silver lining in all of this, believe it or not. As soon as you realise that the last minute studying plan isn’t exactly fool proof, and if you are unfortunate enough to have “learned the hard way” then surely we will change our ways and do it properly next time around? After all, it really isn’t worth it when you are sitting in the library at midnight, coffee after coffee, pulling your hair out and with it being just your luck, the person on one side of you has their ipod on full blast and the people on your other side are having a full scale conversation, and you are feeling lousier than lousy.

Hopefully I take my own advice this year and start the resolution of studying properly one of these days, as from noticing from my more sensible friends, it does seem to make life a hell of a lot easier. But just for safe measure, best not to quote me on that just yet…

MATTHEW OKOT

Nevertheless January is the month of good intentions.  We tell ourselves that we’ll be good this year.  We’ll go to the gym.  We’ll eat healthier.  We won’t get drunk so often (although we’re usually drunk on New Year’s Eve when we make this promise, therefore it doesn’t count).  Yet, deep down, we know it’ll be a miracle if our resolutions last beyond the first week of the year.

Why do we do it?  Everybody loves the idea that they can change something about themselves.  That’s what resolutions are all about.  Yet the problem is that while the clock may be reset on 31 December, life isn’t.  All the baggage from one year is carried over to the next.  That thesis, that project, that assignment we were working on before Christmas, we still have to work on it after Christmas.  It is difficult for us to be new when there’s so much of the old lying around.

It recalls a newspaper cartoon I read in which the punch line was, “it’s just the same year and they’ve added a one”.  Adhering to this cynical philosophy, I try to avoid making New Year’s resolutions.  I just remember the old plea – “Give me temperance and virtue, but not yet!”

Happy New Year